It's been a while!! See, what had happened was we had this longggg 7 week block since the last time I posted and either I stayed on top of all the material being thrown at me or I DIE. Sometimes it felt like the end of the world to be honest, but then again...I am a drama queen. On a serious note, 7 weeks is a long block. Especially for MCB, the material never ended and I just felt like it was impossible to pass that exam with all of that information I had to retain. Exams were on Nov 19th and Nov 21st. But guess what, yep. I passed. Got a few points away from an A in Physiology (always sooo close but never an A 😒), mid-Bs for both Immuno and MCB. I am beyond grateful and I gotta give all the glory to God. Also, shoutout to the real ones who look out for your girl by giving me study advice and tricks, couldn't do it without them.
Now, I just gotta finish strong and survive through these NBME Final exams in 3 weeks and I'll be on my way hoooome to Florida! Can you feel my excitement?
It hasn't only been those three classes mentioned above that have been difficult. We started with our Biostatistics course and our Intro to Clinical Medicine (ICM) course throughout this month and boy oh boy. These two courses started right before our midterms so I was a tad bit annoyed. But it worked out because I do need lots of stress to really focus. When I have too much to do that's when I feel I do best. For ICM 2, I had an assigned preceptor and for two weeks, myself along with 9 other people in my group, had small group meetings with our preceptor where we practiced our patient interviews and physical exams, amongst other things. I learned sooo much y'all! Last Friday, we had our Physical Exam check-offs and yesterday (Monday) we had our Interview Check-offs. I love interviewing the standardized patients, however, the physical exam had me fuhhh up. It's a lot to remember and I feel like we didn't practice physical exams as much as we practiced interviewing patients. But I did well in both check-offs so I'm happy that ICM 2 is done, complete, and finished.
This a HORRIBLE transition but I just wanted to mention something I've noticed in not only this semester, but last semester also. I make it a point to start out each semester strong and confident, I do very well in my first midterms and I have no trouble studying up to that point. Right after my first midterms however, I start feeling...down. I'm not sure how to describe the feeling actually. I guess start to feel overwhelmed, with not only school, but with family and friends and...life. It's like after my first midterms, the reality of everything just hits me and I just think about the worst things...what if i don't succeed in med school, what if my parents aren't proud, what if i make a fool of myself? I don't like not knowing. Whenever I feel overwhelmed...well, I shut down. I can't study, I can't get up in the mornings, I don't like human interaction...basically I can't med skoolll lol.
But seriously, anyone who knows me should know how anxious I get about EVERYTHING. That's why I try so hard to stay in my lane, stay to myself, and handle my business because when I'm on top of my ish I feel like I can control what goes on around me. However, that isn't always the case. As we all know, life is a bi**** and it tends to do what it wants and that scares me. What if life decides to be a bi*** again and I end up failing? Because at the end of the day, this thing is bigger than me. My success is not only for me but for my parents, my family, and everyone who came before me that couldn't get the chance I have now. The chance to be and DO something bigger. I think maybe that's why I start to feel overwhelmed, because I realize that maybe I can DO more, DO better, BE better and not just be mediocre? It's an overwhelming feeling to feel... like if I fail, everyone else who I'm doing this for fails too. I don't know what will fix this feeling I always seem to get mid-semester but I do know one thing....I have lots and lots to be thankful for and my little heart oozes with joy every time I realize how good I have it and how I've been giving this grand opportunity to work towards success. This thought is what springs me back to my feet every. single. time. What is the moral of the story here....well IDK. Maybe, don't let fear get a hold of you? You can do it? You're meant for this? 😬😬
Sorry for all of these yucky emotions....
Last but not least, y'all I'm performing at the BMSA Talent show again this semester. I keep setting myself up for failure thinking I'm a dang superstar. Why do I torture myself like this? The show is this Friday. Wish me all the luck in the world! I'll let you know how the performance went....if I live through it, haha.
Oh oh oh, one more thing I promise. So, I've like gained a lot of weight and it's not cute. So I started gyming again 3 -4 times a week and I've started intermittent fasting. 8 hours on, 16 hours off. I start eating at around 11:30am and I stop eating at 7:30pm. It's been working wonders!! I don't eat like a pig anymore, I feel GREAT and I think the waist snatching/slimming has begun. They do say its 80 percent nutrition and 20 percent exercise!
I took this picture after an ICM small group so you get to look at it 😌
TTYL!
