This is going to be a long post so take a cup of tea or some ice cream and read on. Also, I apologize for the spelling and grammar mistakes. My brain is on vacay after the semester I've had here.
It's been a while but I had no time whatsoever to even breathe, let alone update my precious blog. I barely made it through this semester. No amount of "smart" can get you through 5th semester if you're not strong-willed lol. I'm not trying to scare anyone but every one who knows me and who's been reading this blog knows that I like to tell it like it this. I don't sugar coat anything and I especially don't like to pretend that med school is easy for me. I LOVE to complain on here because I always end up feeling better afterwards... sooo, bad for you, yay for me lol.
I know you're dying for me to get to the title of this post lol. Yes, I failed comp. I'm embarrassed to say it but yea, I failed Comp 1. I'm not one to make excuses but some students who had to come back to the island to take comp 4 said that this comp was the hardest one they've taken. I mean half of the things on that exam I didn't recognize. But I shouldn't use that as an excuse because I think about 46 percent of my class passed it, so if a handful of people passed then the problem had to be me right?
My friends from the semesters ahead of me told me what to do, they told me to do AT LEAST one block of questions (40 Q's) on Uworld every day but I didn't listen. Instead, I felt like I had to do content review because I felt like I didn't know shit. So that's what I did. I purchased Cramfighter and made a schedule. I reviewed, I did First Aid, I watched Boards and Beyond, I read Pathoma etc. And I only did a block of questions when I had a time ----> MISTAKE NUMBER 1,2,3, 4, and 5 lol. That's where I effed up. During the Comp exam, I ran out of time in every single section y'all except for the 3rd section. This whole semester was a joke simply because I didn't study well. I will continue this topic but even though I think I explained what comp was on last few posts I'll explain again for the ones who do not know.....
So we have 5 semesters here, our first semester we take anatomy, anatomy lab, embryology, histology and Molecular and Cell Biology 1 (MCB 1). Our second semester we take, physiology 1, MCB 2, and Immunology. Our third semester we take Pathology 1, Physiology 2, and Microbiology. Our fourth semester we take Pathology 2, Pharmacology and Neuroscience. In addition, throughout all of these semesters we are also taking Intro to Clinical Medicine (ICM). So first semester we take ICM 1, second semester we take ICM 2, so on and so forth. Everyone in semesters 1-4 take block exams together mostly. So most of the time our schedules are the same for exams. Our fifth semester is a tad bit different however. We are in a whole different world. We take Behavioral Science, Medical Ethics, ICM 5 and ICM 6. ICM 5 is like our normal ICM classes where we are pretend-doctors and we do and learn doctor thangs but ICM 6 is where we learn and do everything COMP.
Personally I feel like the school fails us in the scheduling and the way they go about that last semester. I feel like we're just thrown into a pack of wolves to try to fend for ourselves and make it out alive at the end and it actually really sucks oranges. From semesters 1-4 we focus on and memorize STUPID LITTLE DETAILS so we can pass the professors exams and then we change our learning styles at the end of each course so we can take the NBME customized finals for each class. Yet, for our 5th semester we're supposed to completely change the way we learned and also throw away the small details we had to learn for the professors exams so we can pass Comp. I feel like the school should make all of our midterms exam from semesters 1-4 NBME exams so we can be prepared to take and kill comp during our 5th semester. Do I sound salty? well, yes, cuz I am. I love AUC so so so much, you guys know this but this is something that needs to be looked at.
Anyway, back to comp....what is it? It's like a huge 200 question, 5-hour NBME comprehensive exam that we have to pass before we leave the Island for the school to clear us to go take the Step 1 exam in the States. It's the school's way of ensuring that we are ready for the board exam and that we won't embarrass them and fail Step 1. Basically, we have to take everything we learned from all of our semesters at AUC and apply them on that exam at the end of 5th semester. If we do not pass comp 1, we have a chance to take a 125-question physiology shelf exam AND a 125-question pathology shelf exam to satisfy the requirements of ICM6. You have to pass BOTH exams! If we don't pass both exams, our next chance is to take comp 2 on the island. If you do not pass comp 2, you're able to leave the island and go home but you have a semester to study then you have to take COMP 3 in a Prometric center in the states. If you then fail comp 3, you have to come back to the island and spend another semester here with the current 5th semester students and take comp 4, then the shelves or comp 5 if you don't pass. If you end up not passing any of them then I think that's the end of the line. But don't quote me on that. MIND you, we have to study for comp by ourselves during that last semester but that't not all that we have to do. We have to take the behavioral sciences course and pass all of the exams, take medical ethics and pass all of those exams and here's the worst part...ICM 5. We have to pretend-doctor and go to ICM small group almost every single morning from 9-11am, present cases, attend workshops, and pass our physical exam checkoffs and our OSCEs (I talked about what OSCEs are in a previous post if you're interested in learning more about it). Anyway, it's quite a lot and it makes me really sad how unprepared we were for this. Maybe the hella smart people were good, but me I was NOT good. I've never cried so much in my life :)
So yea I didn't follow my friends' advice to focus more on questions rather than on content review so I was at a disadvantage. I wasn't familiar with the questions on comp plus I wasn't good with timing (which is why I ran out of time in almost every section.) I took the exam on Monday, November 25th and found out that I failed on Tuesday. I was sad but I wasn't even bothered, I was like it's cool Imma get up and try again. JOKES. Tuesday I was fine, Wednesday I was fine but Thursday y'all, I had a meltdown in my room. I boohoo cried and I legit couldn't stop. I cried for hours, yes hours lol. It was so pitiful. I finally decided to contact a friend that evening and he made me feel a little less stupid. But this is what happens when you don't deal with your emotions. I didn't deal with the fact that I failed comp and it hit me a few days later. I just felt so bad you know? Like here I am doing well in my semesters here and making dean's list and the honor society but then I went and failed comp. I had people counting on me and looking up to me and the last thing I wanted to do was disappoint because I take that very seriously. So it just hit me that I disappointed not only myself but my father, friends, and you guys! But what can I say, I'm not perfect and I take pleasure in my imperfections because it's in my imperfections and weaknesses that God's glory shines through me the more. I strongly believe that God does everything for a reason. From the time I failed Comp1 to the time I took the pathology shelf, I learned soooooo much you guys. And all I did was questions. I feel like God was trying to prove a point. For the physiology shelf, I think I did over 500 questions to prepare for it. For my path shelf, I probably did a little under that simply because I was also reading some chapters in my Pathoma book. I honestly think I learned more during that two week or so period then i've learned this whole semester. QUESTIONS are literally life.
The good news is I ended up passing both the phys and the path NBME shelves so i'm cleared to sign up and take Step 1, thank God! This past Monday was Comp 2 for the people who still needed to pass, for the ones who passed everything we were required to take a Kaplan full length 8 hour simulation exam that's supposed to mimic the step 1 exam. We didn't have to pass but we had to take it. So yep, now I'm done done, just need to pack my stuff and leave Sint Maarten for good. Very bittersweet.
If I had any advice to give anyone for 5th semester, even though by the time you get to 5th semester everything might be different, I would say definitely do some content review if you can but please don't make the same mistake I made. DO QUESTIONS every. single. day. I can't stress that enough. A block of questions should suffice, if you want to do more that's cool but remember you have to go through all the right and wrong answers with a fine tooth comb after you take said block so quality is better than quantity. Also, find a support buddy that you can cry and vent to if you ever feel overwhelmed. The semester is not hard, med school isn't hard, it's honestly a mind game and the sooner you learn to play it the better. You have to work smart, not hard honey, okkkrruuurrr 💅
Finally, some small small tings...I performed at the BMSA talent show again this semester and they actually decided to have judges judge the talent show and GUESS WHAT!? Yo girl won! I performed two songs, "Never Enough" by Loren Alfred, and "You Say" by Lauren Daigle. When it was time to announce the winner the crowd and judges couldn't choose between me and a wonderful musician named Mirza, so we had to do a sing off. I only ended up winning because I chose to sing "Listen" by Beyonce. I love that song so much and the crowd did too so yea that's that. Mirza is still definitely super duper talented because the guy can SANNNNG, he can play the keyboard and the guitar. Who knows what else he can do? and me ...lol I just sing. But anyway, i'll take the win and run with it lol. I didn't get a chance to have my friends record the Beyonce song but I'll post the videos for the other two songs I performed below. Also I went hiking today with some friends, so I'll also post some nice videos of that below. The trail we went to was called Guana bay if anyone's interested. It was so beautiful!
Okay then, last post of 2019 and last post on the Island of Sint Maarten. Man, it's been a wild ride and I thank every single one of you who read this blog and listen to my complaints, wins, and failures. I'm so grateful. Aside from the construction noises at 8am in my apartment complex and the water and power turning off without any warning and how expensive this Island is I loved it here. It's a beautiful Island and the locals were so nice to me. I will definitely miss this little gem called Sint Maarten and the hikes, the water, and the people. I'm excited to move on to the next two years of medical school with you guys...which include step exams and clinical rotations! WOOT WOOT! Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year! I guess I'll update you next year :)
TTYL!
