Talent Show

Sak Pase!

I promised that I would let y'all know how the talent show performance went. I think it went great. There was a sax player, a Bollywood performance, singers, keyboardist, guitarists etc, Lots of wonderful talent.

Here are some gorgeous pictures and at the end, a video of my performance. I performed "Love on the Brain" by bad gyal Riri (Rihanna lol).

TTYL!

Lots to be Thankful For

Sak Pase!!

It's been a while!! See, what had happened was we had this longggg 7 week block since the last time I posted and either I stayed on top of all the material being thrown at me or I DIE. Sometimes it felt like the end of the world to be honest, but then again...I am a drama queen. On a serious note, 7 weeks is a long block. Especially for MCB, the material never ended and I just felt like it was impossible to pass that exam with all of that information I had to retain. Exams were on Nov 19th and Nov 21st. But guess what, yep. I passed. Got a few points away from an A in Physiology (always sooo close but never an A 😒), mid-Bs for both Immuno and MCB. I am beyond grateful and I gotta give all the glory to God. Also, shoutout to the real ones who look out for your girl by giving me study advice and tricks, couldn't do it without them.

Now, I just gotta finish strong and survive through these NBME Final exams in 3 weeks and I'll be on my way hoooome to Florida! Can you feel my excitement?

It hasn't only been those three classes mentioned above that have been difficult. We started with our Biostatistics course and our Intro to Clinical Medicine (ICM) course throughout this month and boy oh boy. These two courses started right before our midterms so I was a tad bit annoyed. But it worked out because I do need lots of stress to really focus. When I have too much to do that's when I feel I do best. For ICM 2, I had an assigned preceptor and for two weeks, myself along with 9 other people in my group, had small group meetings with our preceptor where we practiced our patient interviews and physical exams, amongst other things. I learned sooo much y'all! Last Friday, we had our Physical Exam check-offs and yesterday (Monday) we had our Interview Check-offs. I love interviewing the standardized patients, however, the physical exam had me fuhhh up. It's a lot to remember and I feel like we didn't practice physical exams as much as we practiced interviewing patients. But I did well in both check-offs so I'm happy that ICM 2 is done, complete, and finished.

This a HORRIBLE transition but I just wanted to mention something I've noticed in not only this semester, but last semester also. I make it a point to start out each semester strong and confident, I do very well in my first midterms and I have no trouble studying up to that point. Right after my first midterms however, I start feeling...down. I'm not sure how to describe the feeling actually. I guess start to feel overwhelmed, with not only school, but with family and friends and...life. It's like after my first midterms, the reality of everything just hits me and I just think about the worst things...what if i don't succeed in med school, what if my parents aren't proud, what if i make a fool of myself?  I don't like not knowing. Whenever I feel overwhelmed...well, I shut down. I can't study, I can't get up in the mornings, I don't like human interaction...basically I can't med skoolll lol.

But seriously, anyone who knows me should know how anxious I get about EVERYTHING. That's why I try so hard to stay in my lane, stay to myself, and handle my business because when I'm on top of my ish I feel like I can control what goes on around me. However, that isn't always the case. As we all know, life is a bi**** and it tends to do what it wants and that scares me. What if life decides to be a bi*** again and I end up failing? Because at the end of the day, this thing is bigger than me. My success is not only for me but for my parents, my family, and everyone who came before me that couldn't get the chance I have now. The chance to be and DO something bigger. I think maybe that's why I start to feel overwhelmed, because I realize that maybe I can DO more, DO better, BE better and not just be mediocre? It's an overwhelming feeling to feel... like if I fail, everyone else who I'm doing this for fails too. I don't know what will fix this feeling I always seem to get mid-semester but I do know one thing....I have lots and lots to be thankful for and my little heart oozes with joy every time I realize how good I have it and how I've been giving this grand opportunity to work towards success. This thought is what springs me back to my feet every. single. time. What is the moral of the story here....well IDK. Maybe, don't let fear get a hold of you? You can do it? You're meant for this? 😬😬

Sorry for all of these yucky emotions....

Last but not least, y'all I'm performing at the BMSA Talent show again this semester. I keep setting myself up for failure thinking I'm a dang superstar. Why do I torture myself like this? The show is this Friday. Wish me all the luck in the world! I'll let you know how the performance went....if I live through it, haha.

Oh oh oh, one more thing I promise. So, I've like gained a lot of weight and it's not cute. So I started gyming again 3 -4 times a week and I've started intermittent fasting. 8 hours on, 16 hours off. I start eating at around 11:30am and I stop eating at 7:30pm. It's been working wonders!! I don't eat like a pig anymore, I feel GREAT and I think the waist snatching/slimming has begun. They do say its 80 percent nutrition and 20 percent exercise!

I took this picture after an ICM small group so you get to look at it 😌

TTYL!

My First "A" in Med School

Sak Pase!!

It's been a while y'all. I have been so caught up with catching up with med school that it's been so hard to actually sit down and write a post. Do forgive me! My personal life has been HECTIC, that's actually an understatement. Hectic doesn't necessarily equal bad. A lot of great things have happened in this past month and I don't think my basic mind is able to process it all.

I'm back though! This semester isn't as eventful as last semester and I'm very okay with that. I have more time to study and more time to lallygag...


I'm kidding! I've been very productive this semester. Last time I posted, I mentioned that I was trying to figure out a study schedule for the new semester and I think I've figured it out! Aside from this week, I have been going to class every morning until 11:20am. I eat lunch and "socialize" until 12:30 ish then I stay on campus until 10:15pm-10:20pm every night and get home by about 10:25-10:30pm.  Don't worry, the school has a shuttle system where they take you home or anywhere near the campus from 6:15pm until 3 am. But basically I have no life because I spend literally my whole day on campus. During that time spent on campus, I also go to tutoring for my classes and attend other events on campus. I am the Treasurer for the American Medical Student Association (AMSA) and sometimes (like yesterday) we have events on campus that I have to be in attendance for.

Let's talk about MIDTERMS!! Our first Midterms were last week. I have to say, I'm so so so so happy that I am no longer a first semester student because I had so much time to study, IN DEPTH, for my exams. No joke, last semester was really difficult for me because I felt like there was no time.  I was always rushing to ICM (intro to clinical medicine I) or always rushing to anatomy lab. I had so much on my plate that I never really fully learned the material in depth for my exams. I was always learning the minimum I thought I needed to just pass. To my current first semester students and incoming students reading this, JUST GET THROUGH first semester!  The material doesn't get easier but you'll have more time in your day to dedicate to studying. Just make it through first semester y'all! You'll become a med skewl pro lol.

Anyway, I got my first "A" in medical school in Immunology. For Physiology, I was 0.53 points away from an "A" 😒. For MCB II (Molecular and cell bio), welllll....let's just say that I PASSED and was way above average for that one. The average for the whole class was about 62 percent. Although I am grateful for scoring above average, I studied my booty off for that exam and I thought I would have done much better than I did. So, because I need closure, I have scheduled to go to my professor's office hours to try to figure out where the heck I went wrong. First time going to  professor's office hours so pray for your girl. I get nervous, and when I get nervous I forget ALLLL of my English and end up looking like an idiot.

With that said, I am super grateful that my first set of midterms went great. I pray that I can continue getting A's so I can at least honor a course before I leave this island. Remember to honor a course, you need an 89.5 or something so fingers and toes crossed.

Right now, I only have Physio I, Immuno and MCB II to worry about but starting October 29th, they'll add Biostatistics to the load and starting November 5th, they'll add ICM II. So the end of 2nd semester is where the struggle really starts for us because they're adding two new courses on top of us having to study for our NBME Finals. Can't wait!

Last but not least, BMSA is having a suturing workshop this Saturday. I'm excited because we will be suturing on the cadavers in the anatomy lab! I can't wait!

That's all folks.

TTYL!

Birthdayyy and second semester

Sak Pase!

Let me start by saying that I am a quarter of a century old today and all I'll be doing is med school. Yep, I'll be med schooling. Bite me! I would rather be in West Palm Beach celebrating with friends and family but who am I to complain? I am on a beautiful Island working towards my dream and I'm TWENTY-FIVE years old. What more can I ask for? The text, the calls, the hugs and cyber-hugs, and can't forget the ice cream I've received all have honestly warmed my heart, and the day isn't even over yet.

Now let's talk about comparison. During the weeks leading up to my birthday, I started to concern myself over the fact that I still do not have my life together yet. I see all the people on FB and IG buying homes, having children, and getting married and I'm over here still in school with many many more years to go before I have a career. Am I not adequate compared to them? Is my life not good enough? If anyone knows me, they know that I CAN'T WAIT to have children and I honestly do not see that happening in the near future. The more I think about it, the more I'm beginning to see it in another perspective. Everyone has their own timeline, EVERY BODY. It's stupid to compare yourselves to others to be honest, yes I'm stupid. God created each of us with unique personalities and gifts and with unique paths and destinies for our lives. If we are each unique then yes it is not wise to compare myself to another and to wish that I was more like them. Comparison is the thief of joy. You will be MISERABLE if you keep comparing yourself because you will never think you are enough. It's none of your business what another is doing. Mind your own, stay on top of your own and stay out of what's not your own. Do you! When you find yourself comparing yourself to another just thank God that he has made you the way you are. He knew what he was doing after all.

Let's talk about med skewl! I'm a second semester student! I came back to the Island on Monday Sept, 3rd and classes started yesterday. So far so good. I have Molecular and Cell Biology from 8a-9:20a. Physiology I from 9:30a-10:20a. And Immunology from 10:30a-11:20a. We also have Biostatistics and Intro to Clinical Medicine but those classes are not until the end of the semester, the last month I think. What's even better about this semester is NO ANATOMY LAB. Jizos! Y'all don't understand my excitement. After our morning classes last semester, we had to go to anatomy lab from 2p-4pm. Now for this semester, after 11:20a, we are done, done done for the day. I have so much time to study now y'all, I just hope I actually use that time to study.

I'm trying to figure out a new study schedule. Since I don't live on campus anymore, I'm trying to figure out if I should go home after my classes at 11:20a, nap, then come back to campus to study or if should stay on campus to study then go home later in the day. I mean my new apartment is only 8 minutes walk away but this is St Maarten and IT'S HAWWWWT! That walk isn't fun when you're dripping in sweat. Decisions, decisions. I will share my schedule once I figure it out. For now, I'm just winging it.

Well, that's all for now folks.

TTYL! 💜

Far From Perfect

Sak Pase!

It's been a while. Your girl had way too much on her plate these past few weeks. The boy on the floor in the meme below was definitely me.



My first two finals were Histology and Embryology and they were last Friday. I studied my little tooshie off for these finals. But literally like 10 minutes before my exam I received some bad news from my brother about my mom in Haiti. That definitely messed things up for me big time. I failed Histology and barely passed Embryology. That whole weekend I was a big ball of emotions, tears, anxiety and panic. I won't go into great detail but this past Tuesday was a big day for me and my family. That day could have gone realllllly bad. So in addition to that stress, I also had my last two exams, Molecular and Cell Bio I and Anatomy that day. I didn't' do so hot on those exams either. By the glory of God everything worked out for your girl though. Things worked out for my fam and I passed all of my classes, but unfortunately not enough to honor them. You need a 89.5 to honor a course I think. I have 4 more semesters left on the Island, I better honor a couple of them while I'm here.

 I finished my first semester of medical school y'all and I'm now a second semester student!!! The reason why I started this blog is to help others like I was helped by other blogs I've read before coming here. I write what I write not only as a guide but also to show y'all WHAT NOT TO DO. Learn from my mistakes, do better, be better. I am not perfect, as you can see, but I don't care. This blog isn't about perfection, it's to show you the REAL struggle a basic medical student goes through every day. How we're expected to not only do well in school but also handle the personal issues, the financial issues, the emotional issues that we have all while being active on campus, volunteering and keeping a happy face. Basically you're expected to be super human. It would be nice if the gig came with a super power too, maybe like photographic memory? Super speed?

Anyway, I am extremely grateful that things didn't go as bad like I pictured in my mind. Negativity and pessimism are the root of all evil honestly. I always stress myself out and things always end up working out. God is good and he's always been good so I'm not sure why my basic mind can't understand that lol. Also, I feel like we take the people around us for granted. If it wasn't for friends and family, I would have honestly lost my mind. They supported me all the way through with affirmations, positivity, words of wisdom and lots and lots of love. I was a HUGE baby but they were patient with me. The friends here who helped me get through my classes, who answered my stupid questions even though they had their own material to study. Like....I love my crew. LOVE!

Oh Oh! I moved out of the campus apartments on Wednesday. Still haven't unpacked. I now live in a cute little 1 bedroom apartment in a complex called Adventura about a 5 min walk from campus. I love my little apartment, it comes fully furnished and with kitchenware, a TV, etc. Perfect little setup. My bed is a little too comfortable, so that's going to be a problem when classes start again haha. The only thing I'm not too fond of is that I don't have a view of the ocean or the lagoon. But I can always go to campus or to friends' places for that! :) I'll miss campus living for sure. On campus, my AC ran 24/7, the wifi and water were included so I didn't have to worry about paying for utilities and wifi. Now I have to make sure not to keep my AC on or my lights on for long to avoid high utility prices. Win some, some lose.

I leave for Florida tomorrow and I can't contain my excitement. Even though it's not a long break, I'm happy to be going home for a little bit to see my loved ones, be around familiar faces, eat HAITIAN FOOD that I didn't cook, and eat Chik-Fil-A. Nom nom.

Classes begin on Tuesday, Sept 4th. My birthday is the next day, Sept 5th. I turn a quarter of a century and I will not be celebrating it. Maybe when I turn 30, God willing,  I'll have a huge celebration?

That's all folks, gotta go unpack the stuff I moved to my apartment AND pack for Florida tomorrow.

If you're reading this and you have any questions feel free to email me, comment under any post, or add me on IG, Facebook, or twitter and send me a message on those platforms. 

TTYL!

Views, Beyonce, and Finals

Sak Pase!

Now I know I went ghost for a while but I haven't had the motivation to write lately....especially with every thing going on around me. FOUR WEEKS until I complete my first semester of medical school. I mean wow! I think the last time I updated you all was a week or two before my second midterms in the beginning of the month. I passed all of them and all above average! My lowest score was Anatomy, both in Exams 2A and Exams 2B. To be completely honest, I'm a little annoyed because I'm close to an A in every other class but Anatomy. The goal was to honor all of my classes this semester but it seems that Anatomy is making it it's goal to kick my big behind. I don't want to be mediocre, I want to be great #bars

I also got above average on my second anatomy lab practical, same score as the first practical actually. Today, we took our third practical. Scores are still not up so I will update when they do get released. **UPDATE: Really close to an "A" on my lab practical. I can't complain. Thank you Lord!**

Since last block's exams I have been in a rut. I have not been to a single class (except for Anatomy lab because it's required) since July 16th. Because I stayed up until around 4am-5am every morning to study for last midterm exams, my sleep schedule hasn't been the same. I can't go to bed on time anymore which means I am not able to wake up every morning for classes. I also didn't have the motivation to study for any of my classes. I mentioned that our anatomy lab practical was today right? Well, I started studying only this past Friday for this practical. I KNOWWWWW, I'm a bad example to my readers and I'm sorry. But it happens!! Starting tomorrow, I will make sure that I am up for my classes.....

I mean I do really need to get it together. Finals are coming up! I'll just take a second to explain finals at AUC. At the end of the semester, during finals week, we take an NBME final for each class we have during that semester. So I will be taking a Histology final, a Molecular and Cell Biology 1 final, an Embryology final and an Anatomy final. The NBME exams (National Board of Medical Examiners) are not exams written by the professors of the school, unlike our other block/midterm exams. NBME is the organization that develops and manages the USMLE Step Exams that us med students have to take. Step 1 is taken around the second year after completion of basic sciences and before hospital rotations. During 3rd and 4th year, we must then take Step 2 Clinical Knowledge and Step 2 Clinical Skills. Then Finally Step 3 after completion of med school and during residency. The point is, AUC gives us the NBME exams as our finals for each class every semester in order to prepare us for the USMLE Step exams that we will soon have to take. For that, I am super grateful. We're taking exams written by the makers of the Step exams themselves. Doesn't get any better than that, does it? Yes, I'm still in love with my school!

My last final is Aug 21st, then HOME TO FLORIDA for a whole week!! Can you feel my excitement?

On July 21st, the Black Medical Student Association (BMSA) at AUC hosted a talent show. I'm not a star or whatever, but yours truly was given the chance to bless the stage that Saturday. There were so many great performances and such great talent around me. It was a great show. Below is a short clip of my performance. I performed "Listen" by Beyonce. Shout out to my videographer though! I also have some pictures below. I looked like I was really into it, lol.

Finally,  below are some short clips of a pool party I went to this past Saturday with some wonderful people. This was the same place I went hiking a couple of months ago...Loterie Farms. All I have to say is VIEWWWWSSS.

ONE MORE THING.....

TTYL!

BMSA

Sak Pase! 

There's a student organization at my school called the Black Medical Student Association....full of welcoming and supportive individuals. Wanted to share our AWESOME orgs shirts that we all wore today.

#BlackFriday

TTYL!

Let Them Love You

Sak Pase!

I haven't had the motivation to write lately or else I would have been flooding your emails and social media timelines :)

Let's talk about mental health for the first part of this post hunh? I am Haitian. Haitians typically do not believe in mental illnesses. It's taboo and it isn't addressed. You're experiencing a mental and emotional issue? It's because you're "fou" which means crazy, or it's because you need to pray. Prayer is important of course, but we usually dismiss any mention of mental illness. For example, I have a dear loved one in Haiti right now dealing with mental illness and it's been so hard trying to find somewhere to get her adequate professional help. It shouldn't be like this. I wish my people would realize how important mental health is for our overall well-being, to create a better sense of self and a better future.

Only a few months ago, anything that would happen to me and around me would have me spiraling out of control. I had no control over my mind. It wanted to go in a different direction than where I wanted it, so to speak. Every time I wanted to rest, my mind wanted to wander. When I wanted to pray, anxiety took over my mind. The mind is a powerful thing. You tell yourself you're okay when in fact you're not okay. You tell yourself something doesn't bother you when in fact it does. You think you have it all under control, when in fact this is the reality:

Anyone who knows me knows how obsessed I am with drinking tea, so the above is a perfect image haha. However, I've been trying to get my mental and emotional state completely in check these past two months. It's like every time I think I have myself and my surroundings under control, something comes in and throws me off balance. Now, I'm definitely much better at taking control of my mind and how it reacts to external and uncontrollable factors, especially with prayer, but it's still a work in progress.

STRESS, is that you creeping up on me from the corner fam? I welcome you with open arms and a stronger mind. DOUBT, is that you too? Yo, ANXIETY? Come give it your best shot though! The point I'm trying to make here is to be honest with yourself. Don't pretend it's all okay when everything around you and inside your mind is in flames. That's not healthy. Work on yourself and get help if you need it. As much as I wish this weren't true, you can't handle everything alone. Talk to someone, cry to someone. Let them love you!

With that said, MEDICAL SCHOOL!

I have an anatomy lab exam tomorrow and my second set of midterms for my other 3 classes next week. The grind is on again! Can't believe I'm already halfway through my first semester of med school. Still in love with my school! AUC keeps me content. Because of hurricane Irma that hit the island last September, the school is still under construction. Our class complained about the noise from the construction and we all received Plantronics noice cancelling headphones. As you can see below, I am not complaining anymore as my ears are happy.

Finally, I will be homeless come end of August if I don't find a place to live quick. Only first semester students and fifth semester students are guaranteed a spot in the on-campus apartments. Everyone else only gets a spot if there are any available. I hear that the upcoming September class will be a huge class, meaning no spots for us for the on-campus apartments. So I will be kicked out after this semester ends in August. I haven't had any luck finding a place to live so I'm high-key freaking out. The good apartments available are apartments with 2 or 3 rooms OR studio apartments. I don't want any roommates whatsoever and I don't want to live in a studio. I think both of these things are torture.  Oh and everything here is soooooo expensive. A studio, a SMALL STUDIO costs about $1200, a large one is about $1350. Like yoo, guess I'll have to go take some money from my hidden money tree now.

Wish me luck.

TTYL!

Wasting Today Worrying About Tomorrow

Sak Pase!!

Read the title of this post once again please. Read it again, then again. Then take some time to think about your life.

Being in medical school comes with all of these expectations to be a superhuman and work harder than anyone else. And these expectations are definitely real. I mean, I study EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. It's like a full time job, except I'm working a double shift every day. Classes from 8-11:20, then from 2-4. Shower, then study from 5-10:30pm. This is my life now and I've embraced it. Matter of fact, I love it! I've got to be smart with my studying. Work hard, work harder, work harder some more, THEN play hard. In other words, put in lots of time studying then take some time to enjoy myself. I give props to all of the people who are able to study, study, study, but me, I need my breaks. My basic brain needs some time away from all things medicine.

"Bettyna you're having too much fun, aren't you supposed to be in med school?" Yea, go ahead and study medicine weekly from 8am-10:30 pm (exam weeks aren even worse) then come back and ask me that again. What's the point of burning yourself out so much that you don't even make time to cook a decent meal for yourself? or appreciate the present moment? I think this has always been my mistake. I have always worried about the future that I never took enough time to enjoy the moment. Doesn't that sound miserable? Wasting your today worrying about tomorrow? I have a lot of people who are counting on me for a better life. It can be stressful and I find myself shutting down. When I have those moments, it's because I'm burned out. I go on and on, just floating through the week not really living in the moment. Forgetting that I also matter. The people who are counting on me matter too, but I also matter. How will I make things better for another person if things aren't good for me? How do I take care of another person, if I don't take care of me. My health matters. My goal as a future physician is to contribute to "bon sante" aka "good health" to my patients. But how will I give good health to others if I am also not in bon sante? Not just physically, but also mentally and emotionally.

Now that I'm doing what I love AND taking care of myself, I am at peace. I feel like I have the power to handle anything that is thrown at me. Pray and give it a try. Ask God for peace and once you receive it, life will get easier. Just like me you will take a few minutes of your life just to jump on your bed while listening to your favorite song, or lip sync on snapchat to a song on your playlist. Yes, you will have those nights when you just want to scream and the tears are nonstop but that's when you know you need to take a step back and take care of YOU. YOU MATTER. You can't accomplish all of your goals and your dreams if you're not in good health or alive to see them through. Take care of YOU.

So for the people who asked....YES, I'm in med school. But YAAAASSS, I am also living in the moment while I'm still alive to do so. 

I'm sorry for all of the mushy words and feelings, but this was on my mind and writing always helps me feel better. I appreciate you, thank you for reading.

SN: I went on a boat trip with some friends and acquaintances to Anguilla today. Anguilla is a small neighboring island near St. Maarten. Pictures and short snap videos are below! This is also me enjoying the present moment :)

TTYL!

Went Hiking

Sak Pase!

I went hiking today with a couple of friends. I'm from Florida so we don't really have mountains, and when I go hiking, it's on a flat terrain lol.  Enjoy the pics and short videos.

TTYL!

I PASSED!

Sak Pase!

Well, I'm alive. It's been a wild week, with lots of tears lol. I'm not kidding, I'm a big baby and the tears were plentiful. Before I tell you the sequence of events, I would like to first explain the exam breakdowns at AUC.

As you know, I've had an embryology exam every Monday since we started. Today (we switched it to Tuesday this time because of exams yesterday) was our last embryo exam because Embryology is only a 5 week course. So now I'm done with embryo until our final at the end of August.

For every other class, we have exams A and exams B. Exams A are on a Friday, they give you the weekend to study and then exams B are that following Monday. Let me explain. For each block, each professor writes two exams. Which means if we don't pass Friday exams (exam A) we can take exams B on Monday to try to pass and they'll take the best of the two scores. However, don't be fooled, the exams are nowhere near the same. They're COMPLETELY different questions y'all. And I even think the exams on Monday were harder. So for example, for our Molecular cell Bio (MCB) course, we had lectures on 9 topics for this block. On exam A, maybe the professor wrote that test to focus more on topics 1-4 and only a little on 5-9. And he wrote Exam B to focus on topics 5-9 more so than topics 1-4. In that way,  you get to test all of your strengths and weaknesses for those topics. I hope that makes sense and I didn't confuse you.

I passed everything the first time around!! TO GOD BE THE GLORY!  Class average was around 70 percent for MCB, I scored high above the average. Class average for Histology was 60 percent, I scored high above average for that too. Class average was 66 percent for Anatomy, and I scored high above average for that too. The second time around, I did worse! Well, except for Histo, I improved my score by 6 percent.

I scored only slightly above average on my Anatomy Cadaver lab practical from yesterday. The average was around 85. Passed my embryology exam from today also! I haven't gotten the full score report yet so I'm not sure what the class average is for that one. *UPDATE: Just got the score report. The class average for this exam was a 67.5 percent. Lol we're all tired man.* I think I did just slightly lower on that embryo exam compared to the others because I was soooooo over studying. After taking those midterms for my other classes and the lab practical, my brain couldn't take anymore. I was just like eff embryo and I went out with some friends last night. Had a drink or two. I had a blast and I do not regret any second of it. My brain needed a break. Still woke up this morning and studied some more and managed to get a score close to my usual. GO BETTYNA!

I know this might not mean much to you reading this but this is a huge deal to me. Med school isn't easy. But if you put in the work, you should be fine. A LOT OF WORK. Like sleep, eat, and breathe med school. Haha. KIDDING. But really, I have plenty of me time but only when exams aren't stressing me out. Just gotta learn how to balance everything.

I want to say thank you to all of my friends and family who've been there for me. You know who you are. The ones who listen to me complain and cry EVERY SECOND about how dumb I am and how I don't belong here because I'm an imposter. The ones who convince me otherwise and push me to go on. I love you all sincerely. What would life be without you guys? MISERABLE.

Oh oh! And I managed to make time togo to the gym last week. Seeee, it's all about balance. So remember my previous blog post with all of the questions.....Will Bettyna learn to manage her time? Will she pass her exams? Will she go to the gym? THE ANSWERS ARE ALL YESSS. Now, stay tuned to find out if Bettyna finishes med school. Haha. Now, I rest. Goodnight!

PS: Enjoy the little snapchat videos I recorded during my study break. *Shrugs*

TTYL!

ISSA WHOLE LOT

Sak Pase!

My plan was to post at least once a week but i've found that any little time that I do have is for sleeping so it's hard to find the time to write EVERYTHING that I would like to share with you all.

You're not going to believe this.....my score for the Embryology exam this past Monday was the same exact score I've been getting for all of the embryo exams. SAME EXACT SCORE. Isn't that odd? Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that I am above the class average and doing well but is consistency a good thing? Aren't I supposed to be getting better and better each day? My goal was to "Honor" Embryology since it's just a 5 week course. To honor means to get an 89.5 percent in a class. I'm close but not close enough. I have two exams left for embryo within the next two Mondays and one final exam at the end of the semester in August. I wanted to ace each exam (get close to 100) so i could have a little wiggle room for mess-ups in the final exam since it's all the way in August and I might forget most of Embryo. However, I don't see that happening.

Everyone is supper stressed because our first midterms are coming up next week. You can feel the tension lol. Midterms for every class including MCB(molecular and cell Bio), Histology, and Anatomy. That following Monday after midterms, the first semester students also have our last Embryo Exam and our first Anatomy lab practical. Issa lot. Issa whole lot. I'll let you know if I make it out alive because I've been freaking out lately. The material isn't hard at all. At least not yet. The problem is the vast amount of information we have to retain and understand for these classes. I don't think there's enough time in the day to study, eat, exercise, and sleep. I've pushed exercising to the side and that's affecting me greatly. My migraines are acting up again because I'M STRESSED. Basically, I need to figure out my life and I need to do that QUICK.

Will Bettyna learn to manage her time? Will Bettyna start exercising again? Will Bettyna be able to retain all of her course material for the exams? Will Bettyna PASS her exams? Will Bettyna honor her courses? Will Bettyna make it through her first semester...successfully? Will Bettyna make it through medical school? Wheww....

STAY TUNED!

TTYL!

My Patient

Sak Pase!

Remember my first patient? My cadaver in Anatomy Dissection lab that is. Well, today I learned a lot of things about him. No, I do not know his name or what he did for a living or what he did for fun when he was still living his life. I don't even know what his face looks like yet (face is covered by a bag until we get to that part). The mystery with our patients is finding out what could have possibly ended their life.  We're not given that information, so whatever we do come up with would be all speculations. Anyway, last week, we found out that his axillary vein on the right side of his body was much bigger than the left side's axillary vein, indicating blockage of some kind. One of our Anatomy professors decided to cut that vein open and indeed there was a ball of plaque in the vein. So yesterday and today we took the lungs and the heart out of the thoracic cavity and today we found out some things. There is a huge tumor on the superior side of his right lung and some of that lung tissue was also black which might mean that he was a smoker. Again all speculations. But the most interesting part was when we took out the heart (which was difficult because of the calcified tumor) and we realized that the tumor also reached his heart and was blocking his Superior vena cava. The SVC is a major vein that returns deoxygenated blood to the heart. But imagine that, most of the vein was blocked with only a tiny tiny hole in the middle. We were able to piece together that the blockage we saw in the axillary vein last week must have had something to do with that tumor. I wonder how long he lived with that tumor before it got to that point. I mean, the human body is just so wonderful. Although that major vein was blocked, the body would have somehow found another route(s) to get that blood back to the heart, maybe by using some of the other smaller accessory veins. Not for long of course but for as long as it could. The more we work on our patient, the more we get to discover. Who knows what else we will find?

I felt soooo stupid during lab today. I told myself to go home and not come back to medical school. So while I was looking at my patient, I realized that there were two, NOT ONE, BUT TWO phrenic nerves. Now, all of my life I thought that we only had one. The phrenic nerve is the nerve that innervates your diaphragm. But oh my God, I'm an imposter....take me away.

My second embryo exam was this past Monday and believe it or not I got the same exact score as last time which means that I was above the class average of 78 percent. Glory to God!!! I just pray that it continues like this. It's funny how just last month I was able to do what I wanted, when I wanted. But now all I do is study. THAT'S. LITERALLY. MY. WHOLE. EXISTENCE at the moment, it's sad lol.

AUC finally posted our pictures for the white coat ceremony. If you're interested at looking at the pics go to this link

Below are my two pictures along with the class picture. Can you spot me in the class pic? :)

 TTYL!

Haitian Flag Day

Sak Pase!

I realize that it's already midnight, which means it's not May 18th anymore. However, I still can't let the day go bY without acknowledging that May 18 was Haitian Flag Day. Haitians (most of us) are so prideful of our flag so this day means a lot to us. We take great pride in this day so if you have Haitian friends around you or on your social media feeds you'll see that we went craaaazy. Since 1803, Jean-Jacques Dessalines tore up the French flag and had his God-daughter make a new flag. Her name was Catherine Flon. The flag got modified many times before it became what it looks like today but the point is that on May 18, 1803, Ms. Flon stitched up our first independent nation flag and that's something to celebrate. It's important to note however, that Haitian flag day is not the day when we officially declared our independence. That day was on January 1st, 1804. On THAT day we eat lots and lots of soup joumou. When that time comes, I will talk more about it :) Below is a picture of the Haitian Flag so you can see how beautiful it looks <3 A wonderful Haitian lady on the Island gifted me with a Haitian flag to show out throughout the day so I decided to take some pics with it right before anatomy lab. Enjoy!

Today was also the first Black Medical Student Association (BMSA) meeting of the semester. I had a blast and ate wonderful free food! I hope to run for an e-board position maybe next semester.

I have yet another exam coming up so I will be studying for that all weekend minus the little break I will take tomorrow evening to attend the BMSA game night. Today after the BMSA meeting ended, the plan was to sleep from 7:30p to around 10 or so pm. I didn't set an alarm (I never learn) and didn't wake up until around 11:30pm. So i'm a little behind and might have to stay up until 3:30-4am to finish what I planned on finishing for the night. I feel rested though, haha.

TTYL!

The Feels

Sak pase!

I wasn't planning to post today so this post will be super short. We have this little outside patio next to the cafeteria. I am currently sitting on said patio studying, listening to music and taking in the view. Maybe it's the combination of the view, the music and the large amount of coffee I've already ingested this morning but I feel this overwhelming sense of happiness. After a few seconds, I realized  that it isn't the view or the music that makes me feel this way. I'm not feeling happiness, I'm feeling JOY. Joy is permanent. It's not like happiness that is affected by outside events, people or environment but it's a sense of peace I feel when I look back on my life. While typing this, it literally just started raining and I still feel at peace haha. Darn it rain!

Sorry for being so emotional and yucky! But I'm only human. *Kanye Shrug*

Below is a short video of the view I was talking about. Enjoy.

TTYL!

First Exam and Mini Updates

Sak  Pase!

Wow! I'm beyond words. Med school has been great so far. Definitely challenging. It's a lot of information thrown at you all at once so you're expected to stay on top of the information. My typical day is as follows. Well, actually there really isn't a typical day because our schedule is different every day (grr).  But I have Molecular and Cell Biology from 8am-9:20. Then from 9:30-10:20, I have either Embryology, Anatomy or Intro to Clinical Medicine. Then from 10:30-11:20 I have Histology. Again, depending on the day we have a little break then we have either Anatomy Cadaver Dissection Lab from 2-4pm or we have an Intro to Clinical Medicine workshop or a study skills workshop. If that sounds confusing then good! That's how confused we are here too. They definitely keep us on our toes. The sad part is I low-key love it. Maybe I'm crazy but being tired and on my toes means I'm being stimulated. Don't judge me. Hopefully this means that I will do well. Fingers and toes crossed.

My first embryology exam was yesterday. The class average was 78 and my grade was above average so I'm content. However, I was honestly aiming for an A. But like I said, I'm content with my grade, it could have been worse. Glory to God.

So AUC has this thing were we take mini timed quizzes every Monday for each class. They're mandatory and although not graded, the academic affairs department and our professors are using those quizzes to monitor our progress in our classes. If we're not doing well in the quizzes they will call us into their office to find out what's going on. I like it. It keeps me on top of the course material/

Today was our first real anatomy lab so we dissected today. MY FIRST PATIENT! :) We started working on the thorax so today we took the skin layer off, then the fat layer. It was....greasy. Taking the skin layer off without touching the fat layer was little complicated but I have a great group and the team work was great! We even stayed after lab ended at 4pm so we can finish taking off the fat layer. Great group!

That's all for now folks. Below is a picture I took today before lab :)

TTYL!

First Week

Sak Pase!

First of all, I want to welcome the new readers. If you want to get a feel for this blog and how I got to this point in my life,  please click on the purple link at the top left of the page titled "Epiphany." It's right above my face :) 

Tired of studying so this will be my quick break. It's only Hump day but this has already been an eventful week. I have so much to say but no time to say type out everything so I will summarize.

The bins that I shipped through Tropical Shipping got to the Island last Friday but I still have not been able to receive them because the people haven't delivered them to the school yet. Apparently, there was a fire in their warehouse last week and some things got burned. My stuff didn't make it to the Island until after the fire so my things are okay. However, a classmate of mine also shipped most of her things and her crate was in the warehouse during the fire so her stuff got burned. I'm sorry for her.

This semester, I am taking Histology, Molecular & Cell Biology I (MCB1), Embryology for the first few weeks of the semester then Anatomy for the rest of the semester. I'm also taking Anatomy Cadaver Dissection lab. Classes are fun. To be honest, I missed learning, it gives me a sense of purpose. HOWEVER, the vast amount of information already presented to us is not fun. I already have an embryology exam this coming Monday. Incroyable (unbelievable)! It will be okay however, because tomorrow is a St Maarten Holiday (Ascension day) so there are no classes. I will spend tomorrow studying for Embryo mainly and my other classes.

I am a loner when it comes to studying. I like to study alone with white noise music in my headphones. I will definitely try to start doing group studying but only after I've grasp the concepts myself first. I'm a little worried about this because TA sessions will be starting soon and I would like to attend them because I hear they're really helpful however, if I need to grasp the concepts myself before doing group studying/learning, is it really worth it to attend those sessions? I'll figure it out I'm sure.

So far, I love the school. Everyone here is so nice. I thought that I would be the only Haitian at the school but I've met some staff that are Haitian and they've introduced me to other Haitian students on campus. Although, they're not first semesters like I am, it still feels great to have a little bit of home on the Island. The other students invited me to the Black Medical Student Association (I hope i'm saying this right) and I can't wait to be part of that group.

 I gotta get back to all of the fun now :)

TTYL!

White Coat Ceremony and First Day of Classes

Sak Pase!

Last night was my White coat ceremony. It was a wonderful time. Although my friends and family couldn't be here, they watched it online. They were sending me texts and congratulation messages all night. I felt like they were here with me. I was so happy. After the ceremony, there was a reception with drinks and food.

Today is my first day of classes and that's all there is to say about that. I will post more later but i have to head out now! Below is a picture of me at my White coat ceremony.

TTYL!

Good times

Sak Pase!

Orientation started yesterday and doesn't end until right before our White Coat Ceremony on Monday. So the weekend is definitely not for relaxing AUC says. Since I last posted, me and a few other students went grocery shopping using a rental car. I looked up the address to the stores on my phone, while I have wifi on campus and I just download/save the route to my phone for offline use. It worked wonderfully! The trick was remembering what roads we took so we could return back to our apartments. I went to Ace hardware for my home goods like bathroom carpets, thrash bags, cleaning supplies etc and spend almost $250 there. Then I went to Le Grand Marche (the supermarket) for grocery shopping. I spent about $375 there.....yes that's a lot of money and yes I cried inside a little.  The fun part however was when we were loading three huuge carts of groceries in the car and it started POURING. We all got soaked from head to toe but I think this was the most fun I've had in a while. To get to that store we had to go up and down a mountain, it was so gorgeous. When I get a chance, I will try to post some of my pictures and short videos I took.

The first day in St Maarten, I cried like a baby. I was anxious and I doubted myself but since orientation started I've felt better about everything, I LOVE THIS SCHOOL. LOVE! Everyone is so nice and so helpful. I don't think I could have chosen a better school to be honest. The only thing is my friends and family couldn't make it to the Island with me so i feel a little sad that no one is here to attend my White Coat Ceremony tomorrow. Another thing I love about the school is that they have shuttles to take us where we need to go on the Island (as long as it's not too far). They have a shuttle that starts at 6:15pm to 3am every night. Call or text them through WhatsApp and they take you where you need to go. When you're ready to come back just call or text them and they'll come pick you up. Just make sure you have your ID badge with you at all times, They also have a non-medical transport shuttle during the day to take you to the clinic or pharmacies when you need it. I love this!

Oh! I'm still not able to reach Tropical Shipping to get my darn things from them HOW UNPROFESSIONAL ARE THEY? I called and I emailed, nothing! 

As for my phone, I decided to not get an Island Sim card/number. As long as I have wifi, I can call and text whoever through Wifi calling or text and call through WhatsApp.  What more do I need?

Orientation starts at 9am today so I must be on my way. Pictures and such are coming soon I promise. I'm sorry for my grammar and misspellings, but I mean I did warn you guys under the description on the blog page. 

TTYL!

Adjusting

Sak pase!

I'm on the island. I don't have much time because I have to smile for them to make my ID badge and i have to go register for classes after.  

I arrived on the island and a bunch of AUC representatives were waiting for us by the exit after Customs/Immigration. They were so sweet and such a relief. There were only around 5 AUC students on that flight, everyone else made it to the Island the days prior. The AUC representatives took some of our luggage from us and rolled them for us and placed them on a flatbed truck. We were then directed to get on the shuttle/van to our campus. During the ride, HAITIAN music was playing on the radio, I was so excited because just minutes before I was boohoo crying about being away from home and comfort. The music gave me comfort, even if it was for only a few minutes. We got to campus and I asked the nice driver if he was Haitian and he confirmed it. 

I'm living on campus in a one bedroom apartment and I must say I LOVE IT. I love the apartment and I love the autonomy.

My flight was delayed yesterday so I missed the last shuttle that the school provided to take us grocery shopping. I HAD NO GROCERIES. Meaning no food. Some of the other AUC students that I met on the flight decided that we should go to this BBQ place walking distance to the school to eat. How was it you ask? Well, let's just say that I've been living on the toilet since I got back to my apartment last night :( I guess my body will have to get used to the food and water here.

I am still waiting to receive the bins of stuff I shipped here last week. I'm not sure where to go get them honestly. I have my tea kettle, toilet paper, my pillows and everything in those bins. I honestly should have come to the Island way before yesterday to get settled. I don't have any time for myself really. The school has a bunch of stuff planned for us this weekend and it's all mandatory. 

The Island is still trying to get back on it's feet since the hurricane. So, a lot of businesses are closed and there is still a lot of construction going on. However, the water here is so beautiful and the locals have been really sweet to me since I arrived. I know it's going to take me some time to get used to this change but after i stop being a big baby, I know I will love this place. Sorry for any typos, I'm in rush. Well, I must go now.

TTYL!

Last Night In The States

Sak Pase!

Tonight is my last night in the US. Remember how excited I was about all of this throughout my last few posts? Well, now I'm super nervous and super stressed. THIS IS HAPPENING...TOMORROW! Self doubt is a b****. Am I making a huge mistake? Can I really do this? I mean, out of everyone in the world, what makes me think I have what it takes to make it as a doctor? Am I way in over my head? It's normal to have doubts right? I know I can do it actually. This is a dream come true. It's just that all of my nerves are hitting me at once with full force.

I literally just finished packing. I bought two of those thick storage bins from Target last Wednesday. I filled them with stuff and had them shipped to St Maarten through a company called Tropical shipping. So I thought that all of my problems were solved. Being the procrastinator that I am, I started packing yesterday and realized that even though i shipped some things, there is no way that I can fill two checked bags and a carry on and not have them go over the 50lb limit. Mind you, I will also be going with a carry on and a personal item also. Because of hurricane Irma last year, anyone traveling to St Maarten has a limit of only two checked bags with American Airlines. So I had no choice but to go over the 50 pound limit per bag and pay them $100 for each bag :( 

When  I get there tomorrow AUC says they'll have a shuttle waiting for me at the airport to take me to my apartment. I really hope that's the case!

Now this has nothing to do with the above but this is on my mind and I just thought I'd share. So my mom hasn't been feeling well. My brother took her to see a psychiatrist in Haiti on Monday. Before my brother went, I told him the illness that I THINK my mother has. At the doctors visit my brother told the "Doctor" about the diagnosis that I came up with for my mother. His answer was "wow tell your sister good job, I never thought about her having this illness but considering all of her symptoms I am certain that your sister came up with the correct diagnosis." Mind you, we've been taking my mother to see this doctor for 6 months now and this whole time he never diagnosed her. So the medicine he's been prescribing her for the last 6 montjs....was it some random medication? The reason I'm sharing this is to shed light on one of the reasons why I've wanted to become a physician all of my life...to help my country. My dream is to open a clinic in the US for the underserved population and also a clinic in my country Haiti. Haiti lacks knowledgeable doctors and although I'm only one person, I really want to try to help. This is one of the many things that drives me, that powers me, motivates me to accomplish this goal. Imagine the vast number of people I can help if I accomplish my goal? This is bigger than me, bigger than my dreams, bigger than my life. This is about helping and maybe even saving someone's life. My goal in life, along with giving my parents great lives, is to be a blessing to someone else. If I accomplish that, my purpose in life would be fulfilled.

Next time I post, I hope to be in settled in my apartment in St Maarten, If you pray, say a prayer for me.

TTYL.

The Prep and The Feels

Sak Pase = What's up


I am currently awaiting that wonderful and nerve-wracking day next week that I will be leaving the country for school.

My last day at work last Thursday was bittersweet. I was happy because I was quitting to move on to the next step in my life. I was also happy because I realized how many people truly believed in me at that office. The encouraging words I received were so wonderful.

I thought that I would be relaxing and sleeping my days away until my time of departure, but today is actually the first day, since Sunday, that I've had time to relax. I've been shopping for clothes, shoes, and other necessities since Monday. I've also been packing and freaking out about packing because I realized that American Airlines is only allowing me to carry two checked bags to St Maarten. I had no space for everything I need to go with me to the Island. So yesterday, I called Tropical Shipping and the wonderful lady there gave me the idea to go purchase those huge storage bins with lids from Target, fill them up with stuff, tape them shut and then ship them through their company. I ended up shipping two bins. It only cost me $55 without the insurance on them. The insurance is optional. Not a bad deal at all.

I received my email address from AUC and the first thing I did was take a screenshot and send it to some of my friends with the caption "this is really happening, make it stop." THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING. I also received an email about the details of the White Coat Ceremony, the time and where we'll be eating afterwards.

I think I'm all set for this journey. I got everything that I think I'll need. Only thing left to do is to finish packing. My laptop is about to die and I'm too lazy to go get the charger (It's raining outside) so I'll just end the post here.

TTYL

Path To Becoming A Doctor

Sak Pase!

So, for the readers who know nothing about medical school, I figured I would explain the path to becoming a doctor. By no means is this a complete picture of what it takes. This is just a snapshot.

1) College - you can major in anything as long as you successfully complete your med school pre-requisites. Matter of fact, nowadays med school admission committees are looking for well-rounded applicants so majoring in something other than a science might be something good. You're only in college once (YOICO?), might as well major in something you're passionate about before medical school. At least that's the way my mind sees it.

2) Take the monster standardized exam called the MCAT (tun dun dun). Even though medical schools claim that they do a "holistic" review of every applicant, MOST of them cut you off based on your MCAT score and GPA. They don't initially care about your other attributes, characteristics, extracurriculars or that you won a Nobel Peace Prize.

3) Apply to medical schools through the AMCAS or AACOMAS application systems. AMCAS is for MD programs and AACOMAS is for DO programs. It's honestly a very long and draining process. You need letters of recommendations, official transcripts, you life history, patience, and then more patience.

3a) Make sure you google what kind of doctor you want to be. MD or DO. Google is very helpful.

4) MEDICAL SCHOOL. Usually, 2 years of basic sciences and 2 years of clinical sciences.

5) RESIDENCY. From what I've heard this is the hardest part of your education. Residents can work up to 80 hours or more a week. Ask me how that's possible. You need residency to complete your training as a physician. You get paid as a resident, however not close to what you'll be making as a fully certified and licensed physician.

6) Spread your wings and fly. You're a doctor!

SN: There are multiple board exams you have to take along your path.....The USMLE.....Step 1, 2 and 3 exams.

TTYL!

Long Time

Sak Pase!

I realize that I haven't posted in a while. I have no excuse honestly SO I'm just going to say that I've been busy preparing for school? Not good enough? 😅

In all honesty, I have been super busy though. Lots have happened. I finally found someone to take over my lease at my apartment so I am super excited. AUC sent me my financial aid packet and although it hurts me that it's all loans, what other choice do I have? I mean according to google, I will owe over 300K in loans after I'm done with it all. If you're trying to be a doctor for the money.....run... I mean SPRINT the other way fam.

I've received lots of emails from AUC in the past couple of weeks. I got an email about campus tours when we arrive on campus. There are two on tours on Thursday, May 3rd (That's the day arrive on the Island so I doubt I'll be able to participate and there is one tour on Saturday, May 5th (Can I really wait that long to tour the school though? lol). I also got an email about my registration appointment for Friday Morning at 10am. It's exciting to think about....I'm going to register for my classes IN MED SCHOOL. ahhhhh. I also got my master calendar for the semester. All I had to say to that was "goodbye life." Finally, I got an email from the Director of Admissions for my region that says the following :

Now, how sweet is that? This idea makes me heart AUC even more. However, since they're only giving us 5 postcards, I'm honestly not sure if I'll be able to participate because I have more than 5 people to thank for supporting me. It wouldn't be fair to send postcards to some and not all.

I leave Tampa next week. It's bittersweet. This has been my home for what will be 7 years in August. I'll miss it and I hope to come back to visit. If you think about it, I won't have my own home anymore to come back to when I visit the US for breaks. Even after I'm done with the Island after two years and I'm back in the US for rotations, I will still be moving all over the place for rotations and eventually residency. That's insane to think about. I'm not complaining. I'm grateful, honestly. These are just some passing thoughts.

I think I'm ready for the big move next month. I've got my books, my stethoscope and my blood pressure thingamajig....It's called a sphygmomanometer but who wants to type out that long word...wait, I just did. (-_-) The only things I am missing are scrubs, some more summer clothes and of course, a bathing suit!

As Spongebob would say "I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready."

Now, this has nothing to do with this post whatsoever but I wanted to share a video of me and my friend Charles singing "Bibanke" by Asa a couple of years ago. Yes, I was smaller back then -_- and yes I messed up a little but thank God for growth!

TTYL!

Random Thoughts

Sak Pase!


So every semester at AUC, we take an Intro to Clinical Medicine Course. For that class, we need our white coats and dressy attire. We also need various instruments. For the first semester, I'll only need a sphygmomanometer (blood pressure monitor) and a stethoscope. I ordered my sphygmo from E-bay and my wonderful friend Fedia ordered my very expensive stethoscope for me. I HEART MY FRIENDS! To go to the specific one I ordered click here I chose a plum stethoscope because it's closest to my favorite color purple. I was a little worried at first that purple would be unprofessional and such. However, mwen pa kye. AUC told me to invest in a good stethoscope, so if I'm going to spend that much money on a stethoscope (well, Technically Fedia did) might as well do it in style. LOL! But for real, I want to make it...me, and me likes the color purple. I also engraved the stethoscope with my name.


I have required reading! I got an email from AUC that I have to read a book called "Short White Coat." When I get to the Island, they will give me a short quiz on it. I'm actually excited!
They also emailed me the name and email of my orientation advisor (OA). OAs are upper class students who volunteer their time to help out incoming students with any questions or concerns they may have before coming to the Island. I've got to say, my OA has been a huge help so far. I am reminded all the time why I chose to attend this school to begin with. Their close knit community and their desire to help their students in every way possible. I haven't even began my schooling at AUC, yet I am already in love with the school. I pray that it remains this way. I am worried about one thing though. I still have yet to receive my financial aid packet. I want to know if I will have enough money to cover the cost of attendance. I mean, I'm sure I will but my nerves aren't convinced.


In other news. MY HAIR! What will I do with my hair? I am a black girl with natural hair and I cannot do my hair by myself. Sad, I know. I am hoping that I find a natural hair salon in St Maarten to get my hair washed, conditioned and styled for me every month so I don't have to do it alone. I know, I knowww....I should learn to do it myself for my future daughters but that can wait? 👀


Finally, I will be flying to AUC the first week of May, possibly with my friend Emma. We'll see. I only have a month and half left and I will be starting medical school! Classes begin on May 8th.


TTYL!

Quotes, Music, and E-mails

Sak Pase!


These three things have nothing to do with each other actually except for the fact that they all happened today.


I woke up this morning, thanked God for another day and headed to work. My trip to work is always a quiet one for me. That's when I think about everything going on in my life. If I'm too overwhelmed at that time to think about my life, I create a fantasy world in my head or I continue a previous one from another morning. Yes, I just said this. Yes, I am serious. And no I don't think I have any mental issues. I am perfectly sane (maybe not perfectly), I just want to escape sometimes.  ANYWAY, my point is this morning I was in one of my little fantasies and a car honked at me and forced me to come back to reality. I then started thinking about life and realized how difficult I am to deal with sometimes and how much I adore my friends and the people around me who deal with me. They do not judge my weirdness but instead they listen and give me advice when needed. I am grateful to have so many wonderful and supportive people around me and I thank God every day for them, the ones I talk to EVERY SINGLE DAY and the ones I only talk to once in a while. You are all appreciated and you all know who you are. With that said, this quote from Dr. Seuss has never meant more to me than it does now...."Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."


I work at a law firm from 8a-5p and I take my lunches at 1. Everyone at the firm knows that I always have a smile on my face but as I was coming out the elevator from lunch, one of my coworkers said "wow you look EXTREMELY happy." I replied "Music makes me happy." That is the understatement of the year. I had my headphones on, a huuge grin on my face and I was dancing and singing. I was happy. It doesn't matter how my day is going, music has the power to change any mood, to express anything that words themselves can't, to inspire and to instill hope. Music is powerful and I don't know how I would ever be able to live without music. Ask anyone that knows me, I am always singing something. Always. I thank God for the gift of singing but I pray that he also gifts me with the ability to write my own music and play an instrument. My life would be complete, haha.


I got an email from Sekou Smith, my AUC Director of Admissions, with the date of my white coat ceremony. I actually, LITERALLY squealed in excitement to that email. THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING! Bettyna is having her white coat ceremony. To me, this actually signifies the beginning of a torturous and tortuous journey but that's why I'm excited!!  I've been dreaming of this journey all of my life and now it is happening. Torture, I welcome you with open arms. I'm ready for you. Woot woot.


PS: I didn't know the difference between Torturous and Tortuous and had to Google it. Google told me their meanings and I think both apply to this scenario, so I used both. 😄




TTYL!

I wanna make YOU Smile

A song that was on my heart last night.  It's always about me me me but never about HIM. For once, let me make YOU smile.


If you want to hear the full song, just type in "Smile/Better is One Day" by Jonathan Nelson on YouTube.


SN: I make really ugly faces when I sing. Believe it or not,  I tried my best and I still ended up making those faces. NEVER FAILS! *shrugs*




TTYL!

Conversations With Jujuboo...

Sak Pase!


I was chatting with my good friend on Whatsapp today and I told her how this whole medical school thing is starting to hit me after receiving a bunch of emails from AUC about orientation and whatnot. It's cold outside (well, cold for a Floridian) and I just thought that it was the perfect opportunity to sing a song....


I've got sunshine on a cold March day.
Bae yes it's colllld outside
But I'm goin to school in Mayyyyyy ayyy ayyy
I guess you'd say
What can make me feel this way
Med School, med school, med schooool
Talkin about Med schoooollll
MED SCHOOL oohh oohh oooohhh


If you don't like my version, take a listen to the actual song on Youtube. Haha.

That is all. TTYL.

Housing

Sak Pase!


I received an email from AUC today and they told me that I got a spot in one of the on-campus apartments. Woot woot. They even gave me my unit number :) I'm excited because that is one thing less I have to worry about. Housing...check!


TTYL!

Epiphany

Sak Pase!


I woke up on this beautiful Saturday morning feeling so grateful for all I've been blessed with and I have some inspiration to write today. I hope I make some type of sense with what I'm about to say so bear with me a little.

I have gone through a lot personally, academically, financially, etc. I'm not going to bore you with ALL of the details so I'll just stick to talking about my academic struggle. I was A HOT MESS in undergrad at USF. I majored in Biology and basically failed organic chemistry, physics and calculus. The science department at USF has this rule that any student who gets two or more failing grades (D/F) in their science courses need to be redirected to another major. This means that you won't be able to take ANY science courses at USF. EVER. Long story short, I got kicked out the science department at USF and had to change my major to Health Sciences. The problem with that is I wanted to go to medical school. Medical school has certain science prerequisites that you have to complete. I couldn't complete those pre-reqs at USF anymore. I was screwed. 

I took that as a sign that maybe I wasn't meant to become a doctor. My GPA sucked and I couldn't take my pre-reqs. I prayed, I cried and I got an answer. I had to take those classes somehow. I registered at the community college called HCC and finished my pre-reqs there while taking my major classes at USF. I was taking at least 20-22 credits per semester my last two years at USF. Guys, I had to pay HCC out of pocket and I was broke. I also didn't even have a car yet to travel to HCC. But HUGE thank you to two angels at USF, one who I met at HCC who also went to USF. She took me back and forth between HCC and USF until I got my car. And the other who helped me with finances. My GPA still sucked so I went on to do a one year Master's program at USF. My grades went up significantly (I'm pretty sure that was due to the fact that I didn't have to deal with Orgo and Physics 😌). Even that wasn't enough. I took the MCAT and didn't do well (because it had Orgo and physics😑). Took it several times. Things weren't looking good.

The point I'm trying to get at here is I was angry and I was confused. I asked God how could he pave the way like this and I still end up getting burned every time. When I got kicked out my major, he paved the way to HCC. When my grades still weren't enough after that, he made sure I got accepted to the Master's program at USF. And now, I was stuck once again. I told God (yes y'all, I TOLD my creator) that if this isn't what he wants me to do, then STOP opening doors to lead me to those paths and bringing my hopes up and stuff. 

New Year's Eve 2018 is when it all made sense. Just because he's opening doors for me, it doesn't mean that my walk through and past these doors will be easy. I keep getting burned but I also keep getting back up and still He keeps showing me the way. He basically led me to another open door and that was to apply to AUC (a Caribbean school), something that I told myself I would never do. The stigma and hardships associated with this path is not for the fainthearted. However, all of the signs and all of the answers led me to AUC and this is why I'm excited about what's to come.  I'm not only excited that I got accepted into AUC. Nope. I am excited because of the process that led me to this point. I mean, I'm sure I'm going to get burned some more (grr) but I'm going to keep getting back up and continuing on my path because that's what I've always done. Embracing the challenges, because I know that they will never be too much for me to overcome. Despite me thinking otherwise at that moment.

I wouldn't change anything. I don't regret anything. All these things I've told you about made me more determined and more hungry for my dreams. The excitement is indescribable. I have a LONG and DIFFICULT road ahead of me and I SHOULD be afraid. But have I ever done or acted like I should? No, never. Or else I wouldn't be Bettyna. Haha.

TTYL!

The Process

Sak Pase!


While I am super grateful and super excited to be going to medical school, at the same time I am super stressed. I have FINALLY completed the admissions checklist they sent me. I paid everything I needed to pay (easy peezy lemon squeezy right?) and filled out every form I had to fill out. Filled out the FAFSA and applied for the grad plus loan, housing, etc. Ohhh and I bought my flight ticket :)  WHEW! This is real, this is happening.


A little note about financial aid. Once you fill out the FAFSA, grad students are only eligible for $20,500 of a direct Stafford loan. Half for each semester of the year. However, 10,250 per semester doesn't even cover your tuition alone, imagine the full cost of attendance for each semester. So you will have to apply for a Grad Plus Loan to cover the rest. For that, they check your credit history for delinquent accounts and late payments, NOT your credit score from what AUC told me so don't worry much.


Now the official admissions checklist is done with but there are still few things I'm stressing over:
1) Buying a laptop - I have a faithful Dell Laptop from my first year of undergrad in 2011. It's been good to me for all of these years but now it is super slow and it cannot hold any charge. I mean it only makes sense to buy a new and improved laptop for med school right? I'm not sure what kind of laptop to buy, especially because my funds are so limited as of right now. However, GOD IS GOOD and he will provide a way.


2) I need to find someone to sublease my apartment from May-July. If not, I will have to continue paying $593 per month with my non-existent student salary. I've posted all over FB but nothing yet. Fingers and toes crossed that I find somebody before I have to leave.


3) Books....I've read that I don't need to buy the books from the online bookstore because I wont need all of them. So I'm still waiting on the booklist so I can figure out which books I think I'll need and what others I can omit?


4) And finally SCRUBS, scrub-a-dub-dubs. I have to go buy scrubs for anatomy lab. I'm not stressing over this but it's on my to do list. Oh and summer clothes, and packing and buying a suitcase. My friend E already bought me one (thanks E) but I need to buy another one soon.




TTYL!