Epiphany

Sak Pase!


I woke up on this beautiful Saturday morning feeling so grateful for all I've been blessed with and I have some inspiration to write today. I hope I make some type of sense with what I'm about to say so bear with me a little.

I have gone through a lot personally, academically, financially, etc. I'm not going to bore you with ALL of the details so I'll just stick to talking about my academic struggle. I was A HOT MESS in undergrad at USF. I majored in Biology and basically failed organic chemistry, physics and calculus. The science department at USF has this rule that any student who gets two or more failing grades (D/F) in their science courses need to be redirected to another major. This means that you won't be able to take ANY science courses at USF. EVER. Long story short, I got kicked out the science department at USF and had to change my major to Health Sciences. The problem with that is I wanted to go to medical school. Medical school has certain science prerequisites that you have to complete. I couldn't complete those pre-reqs at USF anymore. I was screwed. 

I took that as a sign that maybe I wasn't meant to become a doctor. My GPA sucked and I couldn't take my pre-reqs. I prayed, I cried and I got an answer. I had to take those classes somehow. I registered at the community college called HCC and finished my pre-reqs there while taking my major classes at USF. I was taking at least 20-22 credits per semester my last two years at USF. Guys, I had to pay HCC out of pocket and I was broke. I also didn't even have a car yet to travel to HCC. But HUGE thank you to two angels at USF, one who I met at HCC who also went to USF. She took me back and forth between HCC and USF until I got my car. And the other who helped me with finances. My GPA still sucked so I went on to do a one year Master's program at USF. My grades went up significantly (I'm pretty sure that was due to the fact that I didn't have to deal with Orgo and Physics 😌). Even that wasn't enough. I took the MCAT and didn't do well (because it had Orgo and physics😑). Took it several times. Things weren't looking good.

The point I'm trying to get at here is I was angry and I was confused. I asked God how could he pave the way like this and I still end up getting burned every time. When I got kicked out my major, he paved the way to HCC. When my grades still weren't enough after that, he made sure I got accepted to the Master's program at USF. And now, I was stuck once again. I told God (yes y'all, I TOLD my creator) that if this isn't what he wants me to do, then STOP opening doors to lead me to those paths and bringing my hopes up and stuff. 

New Year's Eve 2018 is when it all made sense. Just because he's opening doors for me, it doesn't mean that my walk through and past these doors will be easy. I keep getting burned but I also keep getting back up and still He keeps showing me the way. He basically led me to another open door and that was to apply to AUC (a Caribbean school), something that I told myself I would never do. The stigma and hardships associated with this path is not for the fainthearted. However, all of the signs and all of the answers led me to AUC and this is why I'm excited about what's to come.  I'm not only excited that I got accepted into AUC. Nope. I am excited because of the process that led me to this point. I mean, I'm sure I'm going to get burned some more (grr) but I'm going to keep getting back up and continuing on my path because that's what I've always done. Embracing the challenges, because I know that they will never be too much for me to overcome. Despite me thinking otherwise at that moment.

I wouldn't change anything. I don't regret anything. All these things I've told you about made me more determined and more hungry for my dreams. The excitement is indescribable. I have a LONG and DIFFICULT road ahead of me and I SHOULD be afraid. But have I ever done or acted like I should? No, never. Or else I wouldn't be Bettyna. Haha.

TTYL!