Season of Uncertainty

 SAK PASE!! 

Hey y'all! Some people asked me why I haven't updated my blog....as a matter of fact, one person specifically said "Bettyna you've been slacking on your blog posts" lol. See the thing is, I'm in a season of uncertainty. I mean life in general is uncertain but at least sometimes I know what comes next, but currently I feel blinded and uncertain about my future. Don't get me wrong, I am confident that things will work out for me but I still don't know how they will work out and because of that I just didn't have anything to share with you all until after the fact. I hope that makes sense. 

No? lol okay I guess I should be a little more clear. Last time I posted was in April and I think I was in my psych rotation then. From that time, I finished psych, started and finished my surgery rotation, passed and failed some exams, applied to residency and celebrated my BORNDAY. I mean it was probably one of the hardest summers of my life. During that time, I learned who was really there for me and who was not. Some people are there just to suck the life out of you but are never there when you need them. I def learned a lot of this summer, better late than never right? I learned to love some people from a distance. I still love you and care for you but i'm just not gonna give you my all anymore, simple. I'll give more details about my hard-ass summer after the Match lol.  

Anywhooo, I am currently a 4th year med student and doing my elective rotations. I am in my PICU rotation right now and mannn I'm learning sooo much, I LOVE IT! The only downside is the fact that I have to be up at 4:40 every morning. That def takes some getting used to lol.  I am also interviewing for my dream job and hoping that I get a match made in heaven when the third week of March rolls around. 

I think I explained it before so you guys should know how this whole dream job process works right? In a nutshell, a med student submits a bunch of applications to a bunch of residency programs. US med students can send about 15-20 apps and they'll be fine cuz they might receive 10-12 interviews (minus some outliers :)) International med students like myself? well, we have to send about 100 or more applications to receive the same amount of interviews. It's just the way life is folks and if you would like to come to a Caribbean school this is one of the things you have to come to terms with, K? cool cool. Anyway after you send your apps to these programs, they review your application and if they deem you worthy, they'll grant you an interview. That usually runs from October to January. In February, you start ranking those programs you interviewed at from 1 to whatever number, with number 1 being your top choice and then 2 your next choice, then 3 etc etc. The programs also rank the applicants they interviewed. Now programs and applicants send in their rank lists, then this computer algorithm put these lists onegether and tries to MATCH an applicant's preferred top choice with a residency program's top choice. Hopefully that wasn't too confusing lol. If it was, watch THIS. We find out where we MATCH the third week of March. And this is the uncertainty I was referring to in the first paragraph of this post. 

I HATE BEING UNCERTAIN OF MY FUTURE. But I'm choosing to trust my unknown future to a known God so that's also why I said above that I'm confident that it will all work out for me. Wherever I end up, I know it will be for the best!

I probably won't be updating this until after Match week so until then feel free to send me any questions or concerns you may have. 

TTYL 💜