My thoughts, frustrations, run-on sentences, and poor grammar while I document my journey through medical school at the American University of the Caribbean School of Medicine. For all newcomers, please read the post titled "Epiphany" first to understand how I got to where I am now. You can find it below above my head. Lol! Name is pronounced Bih-Tee-Nah. Welcome friends! :)
New To My Blog? Read This Post Called "Epiphany" First!
Happy New year you guys! Just passing by to upload two videos I forgot to upload last week. The first one is a little slideshow of pictures and videos I created with the memories in Sint Maarten. The second one is my attempt at a tour of AUC courtyard. I wanted to tour the whole campus but I was running short of time. Enjoy y'all!
I start studying for my Step exam next week, I've been having way too much fun with friends and sleep this past week because I know that starting next week I'm going back into study prison lol. I will be studying up until March so If I have any updates during that time I will make sure to update you. If not you probably wont hear from me either after I take Step or after I get my results back. in the meantime, please feel free to use the "Contact Bettyna" form on the right side of my blog page to send me an email with any questions, concerns or comments you may have about AUC, Step studying, etc.
This is going to be a long post so take a cup of tea or some ice cream and read on. Also, I apologize for the spelling and grammar mistakes. My brain is on vacay after the semester I've had here.
It's been a while but I had no time whatsoever to even breathe, let alone update my precious blog. I barely made it through this semester. No amount of "smart" can get you through 5th semester if you're not strong-willed lol. I'm not trying to scare anyone but every one who knows me and who's been reading this blog knows that I like to tell it like it this. I don't sugar coat anything and I especially don't like to pretend that med school is easy for me. I LOVE to complain on here because I always end up feeling better afterwards... sooo, bad for you, yay for me lol.
I know you're dying for me to get to the title of this post lol. Yes, I failed comp. I'm embarrassed to say it but yea, I failed Comp 1. I'm not one to make excuses but some students who had to come back to the island to take comp 4 said that this comp was the hardest one they've taken. I mean half of the things on that exam I didn't recognize. But I shouldn't use that as an excuse because I think about 46 percent of my class passed it, so if a handful of people passed then the problem had to be me right?
My friends from the semesters ahead of me told me what to do, they told me to do AT LEAST one block of questions (40 Q's) on Uworld every day but I didn't listen. Instead, I felt like I had to do content review because I felt like I didn't know shit. So that's what I did. I purchased Cramfighter and made a schedule. I reviewed, I did First Aid, I watched Boards and Beyond, I read Pathoma etc. And I only did a block of questions when I had a time ----> MISTAKE NUMBER 1,2,3, 4, and 5 lol. That's where I effed up. During the Comp exam, I ran out of time in every single section y'all except for the 3rd section. This whole semester was a joke simply because I didn't study well. I will continue this topic but even though I think I explained what comp was on last few posts I'll explain again for the ones who do not know.....
So we have 5 semesters here, our first semester we take anatomy, anatomy lab, embryology, histology and Molecular and Cell Biology 1 (MCB 1). Our second semester we take, physiology 1, MCB 2, and Immunology. Our third semester we take Pathology 1, Physiology 2, and Microbiology. Our fourth semester we take Pathology 2, Pharmacology and Neuroscience. In addition, throughout all of these semesters we are also taking Intro to Clinical Medicine (ICM). So first semester we take ICM 1, second semester we take ICM 2, so on and so forth. Everyone in semesters 1-4 take block exams together mostly. So most of the time our schedules are the same for exams. Our fifth semester is a tad bit different however. We are in a whole different world. We take Behavioral Science, Medical Ethics, ICM 5 and ICM 6. ICM 5 is like our normal ICM classes where we are pretend-doctors and we do and learn doctor thangs but ICM 6 is where we learn and do everything COMP.
Personally I feel like the school fails us in the scheduling and the way they go about that last semester. I feel like we're just thrown into a pack of wolves to try to fend for ourselves and make it out alive at the end and it actually really sucks oranges. From semesters 1-4 we focus on and memorize STUPID LITTLE DETAILS so we can pass the professors exams and then we change our learning styles at the end of each course so we can take the NBME customized finals for each class. Yet, for our 5th semester we're supposed to completely change the way we learned and also throw away the small details we had to learn for the professors exams so we can pass Comp. I feel like the school should make all of our midterms exam from semesters 1-4 NBME exams so we can be prepared to take and kill comp during our 5th semester. Do I sound salty? well, yes, cuz I am. I love AUC so so so much, you guys know this but this is something that needs to be looked at.
Anyway, back to comp....what is it? It's like a huge 200 question, 5-hour NBME comprehensive exam that we have to pass before we leave the Island for the school to clear us to go take the Step 1 exam in the States. It's the school's way of ensuring that we are ready for the board exam and that we won't embarrass them and fail Step 1. Basically, we have to take everything we learned from all of our semesters at AUC and apply them on that exam at the end of 5th semester. If we do not pass comp 1, we have a chance to take a 125-question physiology shelf exam AND a 125-question pathology shelf exam to satisfy the requirements of ICM6. You have to pass BOTH exams! If we don't pass both exams, our next chance is to take comp 2 on the island. If you do not pass comp 2, you're able to leave the island and go home but you have a semester to study then you have to take COMP 3 in a Prometric center in the states. If you then fail comp 3, you have to come back to the island and spend another semester here with the current 5th semester students and take comp 4, then the shelves or comp 5 if you don't pass. If you end up not passing any of them then I think that's the end of the line. But don't quote me on that. MIND you, we have to study for comp by ourselves during that last semester but that't not all that we have to do. We have to take the behavioral sciences course and pass all of the exams, take medical ethics and pass all of those exams and here's the worst part...ICM 5. We have to pretend-doctor and go to ICM small group almost every single morning from 9-11am, present cases, attend workshops, and pass our physical exam checkoffs and our OSCEs (I talked about what OSCEs are in a previous post if you're interested in learning more about it). Anyway, it's quite a lot and it makes me really sad how unprepared we were for this. Maybe the hella smart people were good, but me I was NOT good. I've never cried so much in my life :)
So yea I didn't follow my friends' advice to focus more on questions rather than on content review so I was at a disadvantage. I wasn't familiar with the questions on comp plus I wasn't good with timing (which is why I ran out of time in almost every section.) I took the exam on Monday, November 25th and found out that I failed on Tuesday. I was sad but I wasn't even bothered, I was like it's cool Imma get up and try again. JOKES. Tuesday I was fine, Wednesday I was fine but Thursday y'all, I had a meltdown in my room. I boohoo cried and I legit couldn't stop. I cried for hours, yes hours lol. It was so pitiful. I finally decided to contact a friend that evening and he made me feel a little less stupid. But this is what happens when you don't deal with your emotions. I didn't deal with the fact that I failed comp and it hit me a few days later. I just felt so bad you know? Like here I am doing well in my semesters here and making dean's list and the honor society but then I went and failed comp. I had people counting on me and looking up to me and the last thing I wanted to do was disappoint because I take that very seriously. So it just hit me that I disappointed not only myself but my father, friends, and you guys! But what can I say, I'm not perfect and I take pleasure in my imperfections because it's in my imperfections and weaknesses that God's glory shines through me the more. I strongly believe that God does everything for a reason. From the time I failed Comp1 to the time I took the pathology shelf, I learned soooooo much you guys. And all I did was questions. I feel like God was trying to prove a point. For the physiology shelf, I think I did over 500 questions to prepare for it. For my path shelf, I probably did a little under that simply because I was also reading some chapters in my Pathoma book. I honestly think I learned more during that two week or so period then i've learned this whole semester. QUESTIONS are literally life.
The good news is I ended up passing both the phys and the path NBME shelves so i'm cleared to sign up and take Step 1, thank God! This past Monday was Comp 2 for the people who still needed to pass, for the ones who passed everything we were required to take a Kaplan full length 8 hour simulation exam that's supposed to mimic the step 1 exam. We didn't have to pass but we had to take it. So yep, now I'm done done, just need to pack my stuff and leave Sint Maarten for good. Very bittersweet.
If I had any advice to give anyone for 5th semester, even though by the time you get to 5th semester everything might be different, I would say definitely do some content review if you can but please don't make the same mistake I made. DO QUESTIONS every. single. day. I can't stress that enough. A block of questions should suffice, if you want to do more that's cool but remember you have to go through all the right and wrong answers with a fine tooth comb after you take said block so quality is better than quantity. Also, find a support buddy that you can cry and vent to if you ever feel overwhelmed. The semester is not hard, med school isn't hard, it's honestly a mind game and the sooner you learn to play it the better. You have to work smart, not hard honey, okkkrruuurrr 💅
Finally, some small small tings...I performed at the BMSA talent show again this semester and they actually decided to have judges judge the talent show and GUESS WHAT!? Yo girl won! I performed two songs, "Never Enough" by Loren Alfred, and "You Say" by Lauren Daigle. When it was time to announce the winner the crowd and judges couldn't choose between me and a wonderful musician named Mirza, so we had to do a sing off. I only ended up winning because I chose to sing "Listen" by Beyonce. I love that song so much and the crowd did too so yea that's that. Mirza is still definitely super duper talented because the guy can SANNNNG, he can play the keyboard and the guitar. Who knows what else he can do? and me ...lol I just sing. But anyway, i'll take the win and run with it lol. I didn't get a chance to have my friends record the Beyonce song but I'll post the videos for the other two songs I performed below. Also I went hiking today with some friends, so I'll also post some nice videos of that below. The trail we went to was called Guana bay if anyone's interested. It was so beautiful!
Okay then, last post of 2019 and last post on the Island of Sint Maarten. Man, it's been a wild ride and I thank every single one of you who read this blog and listen to my complaints, wins, and failures. I'm so grateful. Aside from the construction noises at 8am in my apartment complex and the water and power turning off without any warning and how expensive this Island is I loved it here. It's a beautiful Island and the locals were so nice to me. I will definitely miss this little gem called Sint Maarten and the hikes, the water, and the people. I'm excited to move on to the next two years of medical school with you guys...which include step exams and clinical rotations! WOOT WOOT! Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year! I guess I'll update you next year :)
Hey y'all! I don't have much to share I just wanted to come share pics of maself at the Celebration of Academic Excellence last week. You girl got inducted into the schools honor society, received a plaque for winning the Karl Stockhausen student of the semester award and got called up for making the dean's list. This was a nice way to end my last semester here on the Island. Here is a link with a little article about the night --> link
Also, yesterday I went with Dr. Chobanyan (an oncologist/professor at our school), the fellows, and a group of students to a clinic where we had a breast/health screening and education event. It's part of a breast cancer research Dr. Chobanyan is doing. I was invited to go only for Creole translation but we ended up not getting any Creole speakers yesterday so I ended up doing patient literacy and education with another student. It felt great teaching the Sint Maarten community how to self-check themselves for breast cancer and the things that do and do not cause breast cancer. They also got to check their cholesterol and glucose levels, BP, Ht, Weight etc. I will be going again on a Saturday in November so i'm looking forward to that. I'm also adding some pics of that.
Finally, the Black Medical Student Association on campus (BMSA) had a boat trip a few weekends and ago and I looked too cute so I had to share some of those pics too lmbo.
Comp is in about a month and I'm freaking out a little bit, I still have Cardio, respiratory, Renal and Endocrine systems to go through beforehand and I honestly don't think I have enough time to go through it all. So, I'm going to leave it in God's hands to do what only he can do...the impossible. Enjoy the pictures below and I pray that next time I post a blog update is after comp to tell you all how I passed! I'm speaking it out and I'm claiming it. So shall it be.
It took me two weeks to write this post because of how busy and behind I am in everything. But that's basically my whole life summed up...i'm always behind lol. I complete a little bit of the post then i start to feel guilty so I stop typing so I can go back to my studies lol. I'm also taking so long to write this post because so much has happened. I'm sure you're excited for me to tell you about 5th semester...my last semester on the island...the busy semester.
If you don't want to read about God skip this post, respectfully :)
So much has happened since the last time I posted and I mean SOOOOO much. Most of the things I don't feel comfortable sharing so I'll spare you the details and just share the general things but I feel like a completely new person. I have renewed strength, renewed faith in the Lord, and renewed passion for medicine. I have always wondered why things were always a struggle for me. Y'all just don't know how much it took to get here and how much I'm still dealing with. This whole time I thought it was God punishing me. My childhood, my hurt, this difficult path to med school...all of it I blamed on God. However, I learned recently that generational curses are a thing. I learned that I was misdirecting my anger and frustration towards God when it should have been towards the devil. The devil was closing doors but the Lord had his hands in mine and was opening them for me. Sorry to make this post about religion and God but He's been too faithful for me not to share with the world how wonderful he's been to me, so no I'm actually not sorry. *shrugs*
DESPITE all the mess, I made it on the Dean's list again and I'm one of the 15 people in my class who made the school's Honor & Service Society this semester. The Celebration of Academic Excellence is Friday, October 18th and my name will be called up to the stage 3 times, once for Dean's list, once for the Honor Society and once for the Student of the Semester Award. Do you see why I'm grateful? because my journey here has been difficult and some days I couldn't study, some nights I cried myself to sleep, sometimes I was just too depressed to get up for class. M first semester, I was so depressed, I ignored 4 weeks worth of MCB and Anatomy class but somehow I still managed to pass the classes. I failed the final exams but I still ended up passing the classes because I did so well in the midterms. Another example...last semester things got so tough that I couldn't study for pharm during second block. AND DO Y'ALL KNOOWW HOW MANY DRUGS WE NEED TO REMEMBER FOR PHARM? A LOT. That Monday, I failed exam 2A with a 40 percent. That Tuesday, I drank Redbull, it gave me wings and I studied weeks and weeks of drugs in ONE DAY and ended up with a B on exam 2B that Wednesday. I then passed the final and made the dean's list. Do you see what I mean? God is faithful and for that I'm grateful. When people ask me how I do it and I answer "it's God," they laugh at me and think that I just refuse to to share my secrets. Ain't no secret lol. I grind and I mean I grind hella hard but most importantly I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
OKAY, I'm done lol. Let's talk about 5th semester. I'm taking ICM 5, ICM6, Behavioral Science and Ethics. Ethics was only two weeks, I took the final this past Tuesday. First behavioral exam is this upcoming week. Not excited for that one at all. So this is a typical day for us: We have ICM mostly every morning from 9am-11am where we get to act like doctors. Then we have behavioral from 12:30-2:20pm. Then Ethics from 2:30-4pm. Now that Ethics is over we're free at 2:20pm unless we have a double lecture day in behavioral . Sometimes we don't have ICM in the mornings because we have special workshops like venipuncture or focused interview etc.
Now this sounds all easy right? WRONG? We have to do these things all while self studying for our big COMP exam. The comprehensive exam is basically an exam we have to take that mimics the USMLE Step 1 exam. It includes everything we learned since we began classes on the Island. We have to take it during our 5th semesters and PASS it so we can be cleared to take the Step exam when we leave the Island. If you don't pass Comp 1, you're given a chance to pass a pathology shelf and a physiology shelf. You have to pass BOTH shelves to be cleared. Now if you still don't pass those, you're given another chance to pass by taking Comp 2. If you still don't pass you won't be cleared for step, you have to go back to the states and study for comp 3 given in the states. If you still don't pass I think they have you return to the island to study under supervision and take another comp with the current 5th semesters at the time. If you still don't pass after that, I'm not really sure what happens then. Sorry that's all the info i have on that because I'm planning on killing the first comp SOMEHOW. Lettuce pray lol. They had us take a diagnostic NBME exam so we can see where we are in our knowledge and what we need to study and let's just say I was at the bottom so your girl has got A LOT of work to do. I have gaps in my knowledge, especially when it comes to MCB, Anatomy and Pharm, the classes I struggled with most haha, go figure!
I find it really hard to make time to study. With ICM and behavioral and ethics and CPR classes in the weekends etc theres just no time left during the day. The days seem to be getting shorter and shorter and shorter. We also have to complete two preceptorships before the semester is over. I signed up to do mine after comp at the end of the semester. I signed up for an obgyn rotation and a pediatrics rotation at the Sint Maarten Medical center.
Finally, I'm using cramfighter to schedule my studies. I am 4 days behind on my schedule :) The school gives us UWORLD and Kaplan Qbanks so I try to do questions on them every day no matter If I get time to do content review or not. Questions are extremely important so even though I'm behind in content review I still try to do questions every day. I still have a lot left to do but let's get this bread or whatever lol.
Whew, I'm at the end FINALLY! I'm going to continue to study this here behavioral material now. I apologize for the long post. If you read the whole post, thank you so much!
PS: Every time I want to be reminded of how far I've made it, I look at this picture:
