Last Night In The States

Sak Pase!

Tonight is my last night in the US. Remember how excited I was about all of this throughout my last few posts? Well, now I'm super nervous and super stressed. THIS IS HAPPENING...TOMORROW! Self doubt is a b****. Am I making a huge mistake? Can I really do this? I mean, out of everyone in the world, what makes me think I have what it takes to make it as a doctor? Am I way in over my head? It's normal to have doubts right? I know I can do it actually. This is a dream come true. It's just that all of my nerves are hitting me at once with full force.

I literally just finished packing. I bought two of those thick storage bins from Target last Wednesday. I filled them with stuff and had them shipped to St Maarten through a company called Tropical shipping. So I thought that all of my problems were solved. Being the procrastinator that I am, I started packing yesterday and realized that even though i shipped some things, there is no way that I can fill two checked bags and a carry on and not have them go over the 50lb limit. Mind you, I will also be going with a carry on and a personal item also. Because of hurricane Irma last year, anyone traveling to St Maarten has a limit of only two checked bags with American Airlines. So I had no choice but to go over the 50 pound limit per bag and pay them $100 for each bag :( 

When  I get there tomorrow AUC says they'll have a shuttle waiting for me at the airport to take me to my apartment. I really hope that's the case!

Now this has nothing to do with the above but this is on my mind and I just thought I'd share. So my mom hasn't been feeling well. My brother took her to see a psychiatrist in Haiti on Monday. Before my brother went, I told him the illness that I THINK my mother has. At the doctors visit my brother told the "Doctor" about the diagnosis that I came up with for my mother. His answer was "wow tell your sister good job, I never thought about her having this illness but considering all of her symptoms I am certain that your sister came up with the correct diagnosis." Mind you, we've been taking my mother to see this doctor for 6 months now and this whole time he never diagnosed her. So the medicine he's been prescribing her for the last 6 montjs....was it some random medication? The reason I'm sharing this is to shed light on one of the reasons why I've wanted to become a physician all of my life...to help my country. My dream is to open a clinic in the US for the underserved population and also a clinic in my country Haiti. Haiti lacks knowledgeable doctors and although I'm only one person, I really want to try to help. This is one of the many things that drives me, that powers me, motivates me to accomplish this goal. Imagine the vast number of people I can help if I accomplish my goal? This is bigger than me, bigger than my dreams, bigger than my life. This is about helping and maybe even saving someone's life. My goal in life, along with giving my parents great lives, is to be a blessing to someone else. If I accomplish that, my purpose in life would be fulfilled.

Next time I post, I hope to be in settled in my apartment in St Maarten, If you pray, say a prayer for me.

TTYL.